The only time I ever LOL'd from a book
Tucker Max RSS Feed Newsletter Sign-up Facebook Twitter Google+ Order now on Amazon, B&N, and iBooks. Download Sloppy Seconds free on iBooks and Kindle. Full details here. I used to think that I’d seen everything. I had experienced so many things that I had become jaded with life; nothing affected me anymore. I was world-weary in the truest sense. That was before...
Girl “So, do you have a girlfriend?” SlingBlade “Well, sort of, but we’re not technically dating.” Girl “So you aren’t in love with her?” SlingBlade “No. They say if you love someone, set them free, so I did. But that girl never came back, so I don’t love the girls tied up in my basement anymore, I just appreciate them.”
Tucker “Look, I’m not trying to judge you about it. I’m slutty sometimes too. And personally, I like sluts; they’re the most fun. But if you act like a slut, you should be ready for some guys to call you a slut.” Velma “I’m not a slut!” Tucker “You’re not a slut? Really? If you told your dad how many dicks have been in your mouth, what would he say?”
daddys little girl
so theres this notorious story in my family of how before i was born my mom was sitting on the fence in the front yard being belligerently wasted as usual, &my half dad is yelling at her to get her fuckin ass in the house (cause shes embarrassing as shit) &shes ignoring him being drunk whatev and my dad marches across the lawn and grabs her by the hair at the back of her head and drags her...
Arizona. Forty years ago virtually every state in the nation defined marijuana possession as a felony offense. Today, only one state, Arizona, treats first-time pot possession in such an archaic and punitive manner. Under Arizona law, even minor marijuana possession offenses may be prosecuted as felony crimes, punishable by up to 18 months in jail and a $150,000 fine.